Greetings of Peace. This blog contains selections from my correspondence and other sources on a variety of subjects related to religion, philosophy, and spirituality. I hope that they may be of benefit to the interested reader. Concerning the title of the blog, read this entry.

Monday, March 09, 2009

My Ideal Partner

(Continued from Simplicity and Perfection)

In my previous reflections I came to realize that the needs toward which I must devote the most attention are work and the consideration of a suitable marriage partner. Although I am perfectly capable of fulfilling all of my needs satisfactorily on my own, I consider the marriage partnership to be a great blessing that God has provided to us as a possibility. It affords spiritual, psychological, and physical opportunities that are not available to us otherwise and because of this I feel that it is necessary for me to embrace this union if it becomes available to me. Unlike work, one cannot simply select a partner, as there is necessarily an element of destiny or providence that enables us to come into contact with such a person and because this can happen at any time or place in our lives, I feel that it is important to give consideration to it first so that I can be prepared when that moment comes.

I believe that an ideal partner for me is someone who is in harmony with my spiritual needs, a complement to my psychological needs, capable and willing to join me in mutual support of our physical needs, and amiable to my social needs.

Spiritual Needs (Harmony)

In an ideal situation, my partner would be in an identical spiritual situation to me. She would be a Muslim woman possessing faith in God, who is committed to Islam, and has embarked upon the spiritual path. However, I do not believe that such an identity is absolutely necessary, the most important qualities being faith in God, a sense of the sacred, and sincere adherence to an orthodox religion such Hinduism, Buddhism or Christianity. Of course, if such is the case she must also be endowed with a great respect for Islam just as I possess a great love and respect for all orthodox religions. Together we should be able to support each other's spiritual endeavors while also sharing the beautiful elements of our respective traditions while being united through our shared faith in and pursuit of God and the sacred.

Psychological Needs (Complementarity)

I believe that my ideal partner would be someone who complements the particular manner in which I express my psychological needs. For instance, granted that I possess a propensity for thoughts and ideas and their written and oral expression, I believe that my ideal complement would be someone endowed with a propensity for imagination and creativity expressed through art, music, or narrative.

Our emotional needs must necessarily be harmonious rather than complementary as I have long held that friendship, love, trust, and the abilitiy to communicate are the essential conditions or cornerstones of any healthy relationship. Pendant to these emotional needs is the ability simply to enjoy one another and I believe that my ideal partner, because of who she is and how we relate to one another should be able to fill me with joy and that I should be able to do the same for her.

Leisure activities do not seem to hold the greatest significance in principle, but are endowed with a greater significance in practice. Both complementarity and harmony are necessary. The first endows the relationship with a degree of spontaneity through the willingness to try and introduce each other to new activities while the latter allows us to participate in them together. Concerning one of my specific leisure activies, I should like a partner that would be willing to at least to learn what the game of go is about for the mere reason that it is one of my favorite hobbies, though it is not necessary for her to take it up herself. Concerning travel, I believe that all people are naturally endowed with the desire to travel and see the world.

Physical Needs (Union)

Everyone possesses the same physical needs. With regard to their fulfillment, I believe that I would be happiest with the person similarly desrious of fulfilling these needs as simply as possible without ostentation or luxury. There is also the consideration of physical attraction and at least in the early stages of the relationship, I believe that it is necessary for there to be mutual physical attraction between myself and my partner.

Social Needs (Amiability)

A respect for the family is essential. The extended family or circle of friends is likely to be very harmonious if we have proved to be suitable with regard to all of the previous considerations. The religious community, depending on its nature may pose some difficulties if we are from different religions. As for myself, I am generally able to see the best in and amiably engage people from all religious denominations who are genuinely pious, good-natured, and well-intentioned. Perhaps my ideal partner is someone who possesses a similar attitude toward others.

(Continued in In the Sweat of Thy Face Shalt Thou Eat Bread)

1 comment:

  1. This prayer is tested: Rabbe innee lemaa anzalta illayya min khayrin Faqeer [The prayer of Moses from Sura Qasas]

    God alone gives success.